In the anger management world there are many programs available to us, and more are developed all the time. While each program utilizes different techniques and has different emphasis, there are some common elements that most programs share. If you are doing anger management on your own and aren’t using a formal program, following are some guidelines you might find helpful.

1. Getting to Know Your Anger: Any anger management program should have some form of anger exploration process to help you better understand your anger problems. This could utilize an anger journal or various other exercises or writing processes. The key is to spend time looking at your anger, and to examine how it plays out in your day to day life. This lays the groundwork for then learning to change whatever is causing you to be stuck in recurring anger patterns.

2. Relaxation and/or Meditation: Anger thrives when you are stressed and when you lead a rushed and speedy lifestyle. Therefore it’s important to learn how to slow down and live your life with more calm, poise, and perspective. If you are always rushing around you will never find the space to change your state of mind. Relaxation methods and meditation practice can help you shift the addiction to speed. This in turn will help you to step back from your angry struggle and begin to see it more clearly.

3. Re-patterning Processes: Once you have become familiar with how anger plays out in your life and you have begun to slow down, an important aspect to bring in to your anger management process is learning to change destructive behavior patterns. This is deep work that takes time and consistent effort, but in the long run will help you shift your negativity into a more positive and joyful outlook.

4. Working With Other People: Anger plays out most frequently in our day to day relationships. A solid anger management program should include some work with how anger plays out in your interactions with other people. This can take many forms, including conflict resolution, assertiveness training, communications skills, etc.

5. Cultivating General Well Being. If you drink too much, are addicted to coffee, don’t exercise, and watch television for four hours every night, your anger management efforts will be greatly hindered. If you hope to work with your anger and make positive change in how you feel, you will have to attend to general well being, including your physical and mental health. A balanced anger management approach will address these general aspects of lifestyle.

These various elements are interconnected and each one supports the others. You can find exercises that fulfill each of these aspects on this website, and if you are so inclined you can try developing your own anger management program.

By Craig Mollins