So how do we let go of anger? In some ways this is a non question. We just do it. We deliberately disengage the anger response. We take charge of our state of mind and say, “I’m not going to get angry right now. I’m going to drop it.” This is a very interesting exercise, because in a way it’s very straightforward and easy to do. We just let go of anger, like dropping a hot coal that is burning in our fist.

Yet in another way letting go of anger is tremendously challenging, because we are deeply habituated to squeezing that hot coal with every ounce of our strength. Angry feelings overpower us, and letting it go seems next to impossible because of this deep habituation. Yet, if we don’t let it go, there we are with our anger year after year after.

Letting Go of Anger is Different than Suppression

Letting go is different than suppressing anger. Suppression involves actively shutting the energy down, stuffing it inside in a way that causes us harm. Suppression would be ignoring that you have a hot coal in your hand, and then putting it in your pocket, except you didn’t even know you put it there. Meanwhile even though you don’t notice the anger, it burns and creates a deep suffering and confusion in your state of mind.

On the other hand letting our anger go means to see the anger clearly, and deciding not to squeeze onto it. You consciously decide not to hold on to this painful burning coal of anger. You experience the anger, you feel its intensity, and you decide, “I’m not going to do this to myself,” and you release it. This is direct, on the spot anger management. It’s both difficult and easy, but with practice you can master the art of letting go of anger.

So the real question is,” Are we going to make that first move or not?” Are we going to keep squeezing or are we going to release? Are we going to continue burning ourself with anger or are we going to give ourself some much needed cool relief?

It’s really completely up to us.

By Craig Mollins