Anger Management at Work
Photo by cayusa
For many of us, one of the most challenging places to experience and manage anger is at work. Being at work in a nine to five environment is not easy for most people, because we are bound by constraints of having to stay in one place, we are forced to relate with people with whom we may have difficult relationships, we have to do certain tasks not necessarily of our choosing, and we have to do them within a limited time frame. Depending on how much personal satisfaction you derive from your work, all this can really add to your stress levels on a daily basis.
When you bring anger management into the picture, the level of difficulty in the work situation increases greatly. You’re already stressed and struggling, and when you have anger management problems it can become overwhelming because you just can’t find any breathing room in your day. Following are five tips for on the spot anger management to help you find relief:
1. As a preventative, get in habit of being mindful throughout your day. This simply means to slow down and pay attention to your body and environment. Sit up, notice the feelings in your body, notice the space you are in, the colors of the floors and walls, the other people moving about, the sounds of your workplace. Notice your breathing, and take all this in as you “inhabit” your body and environment. Try to practice this form of preventative anger management throughout your day.
2. Learn to notice your “pre-anger” signals. Get in the habit of paying attention to your anger patterns (using an anger journal can help tremendously with this) and get familiar with what happens to you just before you get angry. In other words, manage your anger before it happens.
For example your breathing might start to get heavy, or perhaps you notice your level of stress increasing, or you might start to feel a level of frustration. Get familiar with your anger pre-signals, and then whenever they come up, you can apply breathing and other relaxation methods to manage the anger pattern before it gets out of control.
3. If anger arises, you have reached a difficult stage. Once anger is happening, it’s a matter of trying to let it go on the spot. This is something that requires commitment and effort to make it happen. One exercise you can use is to imagine you are squeezing a red hot coal in your fist. The coal is creating a torturous pain in your hand, but you keep on squeezing it anyway. You just can’t help it, like you are addicted to this pain. This is what anger really is. So the visualization, and the practice, is to release the hot coal, to just let it go on the spot, giving yourself relief. This is not easy at first, but if you put in the effort and keep at it you can definitely learn to let go of anger.
4. Get up and take a walk. Just exit the situation or politely excuse yourself if with other people, and walk wherever you can, for five or ten minutes, or as long as it takes to settle down and find some relaxation. Notice the feeling of your legs and your breathing as you walk and just allow your frustration and stress start to dissolve. This is mobile anger management.
5. Another anger management technique for when anger is already happening is to pick up a pen and paper and write down what you are feeling. Just start writing your state of mind on the paper. “I am ready to explode in a violent rage!!!!!!!!” I am SOOOO pissed off…I can’t deal with this person anymore, they keep doing this thing…..” and just spell it out in graphic detail. This takes your attention away from the compulsive pull of the anger and starts to ground you in the here and now, helping you begin to find some relaxation.
Anger management at work needs to be on the spot and to the point. Study and practice these anger management techniques to help you maintain your cool and prepare yourself for when the difficult moments come up. These techniques can also generate more positive feelings throughout your day, decrease your frustration and stress levels, and improve your relationships with co-workers.
