Two essential ingredients we need when making any transformational journey are gentleness and discipline. These two go hand in hand, and one without the other inevitably leads us astray.

Gentleness is the quality of being kind to ourselves. We need to go easy and treat ourselves with love and tenderness as we work with our angry state of mind. Especially when things get rough, which they inevitably do, it’s vitally important that we not push, and that we take care of ourselves.

At the same time, we need discipline in order to progress. When things get uncomfortable it’s tempting to run towards entertainment and distraction to ease our mind. But if we always go for the comfort and are afraid of the least bit of edge, we won’t be able to make any kind of journey.

We need discipline if we want to move beyond our limitations. Unfortunately we have many negative ideas about discipline. The very word conjures up images of corporal punishment or military training, and it is associated with something that takes away our personal freedom.

Especially in western society where the cult of the individual is so dominant, any notion of being told what to do is considered old fashioned, and thus most people reject it completely. We insist on having our comfort and security at all times, and if someone suggests otherwise we consider it a threat to our personal freedom.

However at the end of the day we discover we are not as free as we had thought. Because we have never worked with ourselves in any kind of disciplined manner, our mind is continually distracted and lacking in basic strength. Our addiction to comfort, rather than providing us freedom, makes us weak and keeps us trapped in anger. So if we hope to move forward, we have to exert ourselves and be willing to go through some level of difficulty.

But then we have to remember gentleness. We need to put in effort, but our attitude should be free of aggression. If our effort and discipline are driven by aggressive ambition, they will inevitably backfire. So even though exertion is crucial, gentleness is what allows it to blossom into the fruit of progress.

Gentleness and discipline are two sides of the same coin. There is a natural balance, and we learn that balance with practice. We learn when to challenge ourselves to face our edge, and when to ease off and give ourselves some space and loving kindness.

As you work with the various practices and exercises found on this website, keep these two aspects of your journey in mind.

By Craig Mollins