This time the writing has a change of focus and tone. What you do is just write down the basic facts of the anger situation. “I am angry because at work John has been stepping on my territory and taking credit for jobs I have been doing. I am so angry, and I haven’t been able to do anything about it because I am afraid of John, and conflicts always make me terrified. I am having trouble sleeping at night because I can’t get it out of my mind, and I am so furious and mad. I don’t know what to do.”

The difference between this writing and the first one is that now you are stepping back and reporting the situation with clarity, as if you were a casual observer. And rather than being in the anger and other emotions as you describe them, you are reporting them in a factual manner.

Notice the difference between “I am so fucking pissed I’m ready to explode and kill John!!” and “I feel so much rage towards John and it makes me want to do something harmful to him.” The first one is expressing the anger, the second one is speaking about the anger. The basic point here is to help you step back and develop perspective. This will allow you space to observe the trap, rather than being caught in it. So go ahead and write down the situation with as much clarity and objectivity as you can.

By Craig Mollins