When you are ready, sit down with pen and notebook. You’re going to do some exploration and writing with the conflict to help you resolve it. Here’s what you do:

Describe the conflict scenario in writing. Write down “I’m angry at John for the way he treats me at work…” Write down what the other person has done or is doing and how it makes you feel, and why it makes you feel that way.

Write how they are acting in an incredibly mean and manipulative way, or how suppressed and trapped you feel, or whatever it is that’s in your mind around this issue. Include you painful angry thoughts and feelings, “I hate that fucking bastard, I wish he would just die!” Or whatever.

Just write your thoughts and feelings however they occur in your mind. Do your best not to edit, and this isn’t for anyone else to read. The idea is just to get on paper the stuff that has been going on in your head. This helps tremendously with the process of clarification.

Write for as long as you like. If for whatever reason when you try to do this writing exercise you just can’t get anything written, it might be that your experience of anger is too overwhelming for this exercise just now. If so, try going here to do some of the body exercises, and after a time if you wish, come back and try this again.

By Craig Mollins