Anger comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors, and people experience different manifestations at different times. Yet it’s also true that each of us has a dominant style of anger. Some of us habitually smolder in resentment, other people lash out in continual aggression towards others, and some wage subtle and manipulative warfare. Other people are perpetually critical, or some become chronically tired and weak from suppressing their anger or for others frustration is the main form of anger. Or many other possibilities.

This two week exercise is very simple:

• Week 1: For one week observe your anger and see if you can discover your style. You will probably notice more than one, but there will likely be one style that is more dominant than the others. Try and identify that. It will be helpful to make notes during the week.
• Week 2: Deliberately change your style a little bit. If you are a suppressor, then speak up and let someone know you are angry, even if you only do it one time all week. Find a way and do it. If you are a fighter and are always lashing out, then back off and keep a lid on it this week. If you are always frustrated try stepping away from situations and release your grip somewhat. Etc.

The point is to begin to shake up the habitual pattern, to derail you from the angry groove that you’re stuck in. By changing your approach, you may find some space from the trapped feeling, and from there other options begin to become possible.

All the best of success!

By Craig Mollins